Pain = Depressed Thoughts?

Sometimes I think that I take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. All day long I have had a killer migraine. What is the mix with depressive and self-hatred thoughts and pain?

My thoughts today about myself were horrible. That I don’t deserve anything. That I am destined to die alone with a cat. Then I got home and saw a package from Macy’s on my porch. I tried on the skirt and jeans. I could not see in the mirror very well because all of the crap on my bureau and I thought, “Ugh, they look horrible.” Since I could not see, I could not be sure but my mind was all over the bad possibilities.

I am so frustrated with myself. I can not step on the scale to confirm how horrible I am because that would be totally triggering for me to further get down. I don’t believe people who tell me that I look better. I feel worse.

Blah. I am stuck with a migraine and I am feeling horrible about myself.

I am hoping that I will have a better day tomorrow because I am struggling today.

I will not be eating anything further tonight. Food will not make me feel better, that is for sure.

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This entry was posted in depression, migraine, self esteem, self image. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Pain = Depressed Thoughts?

  1. Angela says:

    I hope that you feel better soon Jen. Pain can worsen or even cause depression, no doubt about it. Hopefully when your migraine goes away things will look brighter. Get yourself a full-length mirror and strut your stuff!

  2. Sarah says:

    I wish I could give you a hug. Sorry your day is so bad. A migraine is bad enough. Combined with bad self thoughts it is even worse.Stay away from the scale for sure. There are better ways to measure how worthy you are. When you feel better put on your new clothes and realise you are perfect just the way you are. Anything else is just icing on the cake:)

  3. Pain and not feeling well definitely exacerbate my depression. It's hard to want to do anything to help myself feel better when I'm in pain.I hope you feel better soon!

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Hugs!I am so sorry you are sick as well as depressed. I hope you feel better soon.

  5. krystal lynn says:

    I love what Sarah said above about "there are better ways to measure how worthy you are." Hopefully you can put on those clothes when the migraine goes away and feel your beautiful self.Having said that, I don't want you to think I am discounting your feelings. I have "ugly" days and I kind of resent people telling me I am being silly about it ..but it probably wouldn't help if they agreed with me either. What is a girl to do?

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