If you had not guessed by me posting about the family secrets, I have been thinking about the past a bit. Ok dwelling on what ifs. If only Mom was this and if only I got that. That is a sure way to drive me a little down.
Sometimes I am jealous about people with big close families with cousins, aunts and uncles who care. Yes, I said it. I am jealous of people whose parents can enjoy their 60s and not have to be in an a nursing home at 62. I am sorry. I know it is wrong. I am supposed to just take what I got with a lump of sugar and suck it up. Well, anyone who does not say they are jealous at times in lying.
It does nothing for me. Nothing for anyone.
Maybe that why I was given mostly green eyes (they can and sometimes do change color) because I have been hiding the green eyed monster.
Scary isn’t it? Most of the scary things for me come from inside of me. How can I think up these things?