I think I woke on the right side of the bed this morning because today was different then yesterday. Maybe it was because I found out the line up for the Life is Good Festival where Ray LaMontagne and Randi Carlisle are playing again or that I wore that cool denim dress I bought at Dress Barn and really felt good. Maybe because tonight was my support group and I really needed it. I don’t know but I felt hopeful, not only for this summer, which will be awesome but just in general.
I am going to try to keep hope around for a while.
I mentioned the book I recently read, Food: The Good Girl’s Drug by Sunny Sea Gold. I told the group how much I like it and someone else chimed in. The book really help me examine history and my behaviors, to notice them with ways to combat the urges. I have talked about my past here and it really brought that together with my current behaviors.
I loved that she told her own story about her struggle with binge eating disorder. I really liked the exercises at the end of each chapter. It really brought the topic of the chapter home to me. I totally give the book 2 thumbs up.
I also discussed my physical coming up. I have to have a physical before June 30th or I lose my health insurance at work for 2012. I am worried that the doctor will bring up gastric bypass or lap band surgery. I am sure she will. I am going to explain that I am in treatment for binge eating disorder and I don’t feel that is the appropriate way for me right now.
I will also step on that scale backwards. I do not want dwell on that number while waiting the half hour in the exam room for the doctor. I really do a number on myself other wise and am practically in tears when the doctor comes in.
I also ordered a bathing suit from Land’s End tonight. I paid to have it shipped 2 day mail. I am going all out on the cruise in a week and a half.