It’s Wednesday so that means it is Support Wednesday. Today was just a peach of a day. I am not going to lie. By the time the group rolled around tonight, I was exhausted physically and mentally. One of Dad’s doctors called about him driving then his speech therapist called then Dad called a couple of times in between a busy day at work. I am tired of it. I could never let my Dad down but I am really tired of hospitals, rehab centers, nursing homes, telephone calls about any of the three.
Mentally it is really draining. I entered the meeting drained. I could have laid down to sleep on the couch. The meeting does something to me and once again, I left feeling better. Maybe it is the talking or knowing that I am not the only one out there with issues.
I spent a lot of time talked about my parents and how I feel very overwhelmed now. Between visiting Mom in the nursing home, which is very depressing and I always leave there feeling down to Dad and worrying about him, it is a lot. I haven’t turned to food much but I have had weird cravings this week like hot dogs. I had hot dogs, the top split buns and ketchup the last two night for dinner.
We talked about parents being supportive. Mom is a different story but Dad goes in and out of understanding. One day he tells me to “Cheer Up!” the next he goes on and on about the past and how it ruined me and my siblings. I have a hard time controlling my thoughts about the past and so I try to change the conversation with him from the past to the now. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes it is hard. Have your loved ones dealt with your situation well? Or do they not understand? How do you deal with it?
Relationships came up again and I said that I may test the water again. Maybe EHarmony. (It is weird how Windows Live Writer has corporate spelling corrections listed in their dictionary.) Anyone have luck with it?
I totally forgot to mention yesterday, I got a new domain name. Things should stay the same but I bought www.losingtheshadow.com and it is now working. It still points to www.losingtheshadow.blogspot.com so I hope nothing changed but if you have problems with Google Reader or another reader, please let me know.