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Happy blogging!

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Calm My Crazy: Chilling Out

According To Denise

This weekend I want to chill. I want to relax, do some fun stuff and just not worry about it. Sometimes chill songs make me happy. This song came out the year I graduated from high school, 1991. The fact that it was over 20 years ago does not make me chill but this PM Dawn song has to be one of my favorite of all times.  To chill out, Set Adrift on Memory Bliss by PM Dawn does it.

Just to show some nerdy awesomeness, if you were a kid in the 80s then you remember Ghostbusters. Someone had the time to put this together and well, I will let you see it. I totally remember floppy disc drives.

Posted in 1990s, Calm My Crazy, Friday Happiness, PM Dawn | Leave a comment

Depressing Dreams?

Since I took the day off today to take my Dad to the Heart Center at MGH (the appointment went well), I had most of the afternoon to myself. While I was flipping through the channels and landed on a Nova show on dreams.  I happened to stop on the channel when they said that people with depression spend most of their sleep time in REM sleep and how that is bad.

Can dreams contribute to depression?

I almost never remember my dreams. The only time I remember if I happen to throw a pillow because it is filled with snakes or some other thing like that. Or if I dream during a short time sleeping. Then I wake up in the morning I am all confused on how that pillow ended up on the floor or how I ended up in a strange position. Those dreams can’t be good. Since I sleep alone I don’t know if I do stuff like that often.

Do have depression and notice you have a lot of nightmares? Or think you do? I wish I remembered my dreams. I would love to see if that is contributing to my feelings of hopelessness and depression.

Anti-depressants work to reduce REM sleep thus cutting down the time you are dreaming, which helps with depression.

And some good news…..

Today while I was driving my Dad into Boston, we talked about my moving. My friends are always trying to get me to move to the North Shore of Boston. Here in Boston, there is the North Shore and the South Shore and the two shall not meet. I am a South Shore gal.

I mentioned to my Dad that I want to move, whether it be to Denver or to the North Shore or Boston or where ever. My father said I should go to Salem. That should make my friends smile. He also told me not to let him hold me back from moving away. I am so torn.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Low Tide Prettiness

I had a post in my mind tonight. I had planned on getting photos from my phone to my computer and well, technology is failing me tonight. I can’t get them transferred. I did get to post one on Facebook so I will save the post I have in my head for tomorrow but here is some low tide prettiness that I saw on my walk tonight.


I am off tomorrow to take my Dad to the Heart Center at MGH. Hopefully that appointment goes well.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Reading Away Depression

Can a book help with depression and anxiety? This Huffington Post article talks about Bibliotherapy.


I would be a perfect case study. I love to read and have not hidden my love of books. They take me away when I long to get away. Along with this blog, it is one of the big things that helps me to get out of bed and up and about each day. I long to read.

I have been reading as long as I have been able to read.  I carry a book or my Kindle with me all the time.  I read before bed and on the way to work. Why I am I still battling the shadow of depression at every turn.

While reading has not cured my depression, this Psychology Today article linked in the Huffington Post article talks about reading helping to change the negative thoughts in your head. On average we think about 25,000 to 50,000 times a day.  If the majority of your thinking is negative, you are more likely to be depressed. The negative thinking is the depression taking over. Reading helps you get rid of those negative thoughts.

I am less likely to dwell on the negative if I am reading. My mind is distracted. Unfortunately, I can’t read 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (That would be awesome if I could!)

So while books can temporarily help me to stop those thoughts from depression, they still come back when I put that book away. I can say though the books have helped me through some hard times.  Writing has as well. I think they both help me be more aware of my thoughts.

Posted in books, depression, reading | 4 Comments

Falling Back

Where do weekends go?

The week drags on, especially today, Monday then in a blink of the eye, the weekend is gone. I am really looking forward to the Labor Day weekend coming up. I don’t think I have plans for Labor Day but any long holiday weekend is a good weekend, in my book.

As for this weekend, I had a killer migraine on Saturday and that cancelled my plans for Saturday night.  I just did not feel like going out and my migraine was totally effecting my mood so I just gave up and stayed in.

This week is quiet for me and I am looking forward to it. I already booked 2 classes for the week at Life in Synergy, one Abs and Arms class and one all over workout class.  The days I am not going to Life in Synergy, I will take a walk down to the beach.  I have actually put everything in my calendar. I am trying to be organized.

The weather here is supposed to be really nice this week but I have noticed that at night, it is a little cooler. Fall is on the way.

I was actually was talking to my friend about my lack of excitement to Fall. I hate it because everything dies. Yes, I love apple cider or pumpkin everything but when the leaves fall off of the trees and the grass becomes brown and the days get gray, it just brings me down. I think everything is blah.

Does the weather and change of seasons affect you? It certainly affects me.

Posted in depression, Fall | 5 Comments

Calm My Crazy: Comeback Kid

According To Denise


It is Friday! You know what that means.

I need some fun music to kick off the weekend. This song really shares how I feel a lot of the time. I have to drag myself up and be a comeback kid. That is what I need this weekend because well, I need it.

He shares a last name with me and I wonder if he is related.  He sort of looks like me.


Hopefully this puts a little kick into your weekend.

Posted in Brett Dennen, Calm My Crazy, Comeback Kid, Friday Happiness, Fridays | 5 Comments

Planet Fitness?

I can’t believe that it is almost Labor Day! You know the symbolic end of summer, not in my mind but it is the beginning of the end summer wise. Though, some of the nicest weather is in September leading into October, then it goes downhill.

I don’t like walking in the cold weather so it is time to start to think about joining a gym. I want to continue to go to Life in Synergy twice a week but on the days I walk, I would go and work out at the gym.

I am thinking of joining Planet Fitness. The plus side of Planet Fitness is that is right around the corner from where I live. I could walk there.  It is also inexpensive, which would mean I could keep up the classes I love so much at Life in Synergy.

The downside is that it has no other cardio classes.  I guess I could continue to find discount sites workouts and go from there.

I think it will be Planet Fitness.

The other day I had planned a walk. Unfortunately when I got home, it was absolutely pouring out. If I had a membership to Planet Fitness, I could have gone there instead.

Posted in health, working out | 6 Comments

Six Months

I just realized that it has been over six months since my mother died. Six months!  Where does the time go? I still find it hard to believe that I have no more nursing home visits for a long time, I hope and I don’t have to go to hospice meetings about Mom’s care. I feel like outside of traveling, I have done nothing in the past six months.

That may explain why I did nothing but feel depressed and read all week. I did take a couple of walks but that is it. I am lucky I got in the shower. I suppose I needed a quiet weekend after the madness of Blogher last weekend and my busy weekend next weekend.

It didn’t dawn on me until this morning that Mom died March 2. It just seems that time flies and I have nothing to show for it. I am still single, still working a blah job, still here……

The plus side is that I had a box of CheezIts. I love CheezIts. I could eat a box in a one sitting but it lasted 5 sittings. That is progress! I think I am ready to try Phase 3 of Intuitive Eating soon.

Posted in depression, Intuitive Eating, Mom | 8 Comments

Jen Reads: The Silver Linings Playbook

Ever read a book that you liked so much that you just had to pick it up again and read it?

I finished reading The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick.

I loved it. I have lacked hope in my life. I am the glass half full type of gal. Not to say I complain a lot but I am not know to think life has a silver lining. I am waiting for things to go wrong and they usually do.

What I loved about this book is the hope it gave me.

Pat Peoples has spent 4 years in a neural health facility after something bad happened with his wife. He believe he is being temporarily separated from his wife in away time. He is taken out of the institution by his mother, who takes him home.  In order to stay out of the hospital, he must attend weekly therapy sessions and take his medicine.  All the while he works out obsessively in hopes that his new buff self will help his cause if when his away time is over.  His best friend invites him to dinner and meets Tiffany. Tiffany is also depressed and she hooks on to Pat, running with him. She proposes a plan to get his estranged wife back.

As a single woman, I definitely sometimes am worried about telling a man that I might be dating about the battle I have with depression. Do I tell him about the daily cocktail I take? When do I tell him? Do I talk about my past? Am I scaring him away?

I never thought that I could possibly meet some that is like me. Someone who would understand and I would not have to hid myself, which is what happened in previous relationships and probably why they failed.

Reading this book just brought a glimmer of hope. Something that has sorely been lacking in my life. The author of this book got it right. I highly recommend the book.

The movie based on this book comes out November 21st and I can’t wait to see it!



Posted in Jen Reads, The Silver Lining Playbook | 7 Comments